A little low

I'm feeling a little bit down today. I'm nervous because I have a work performance review tomorrow and while I don't want to say too much on this medium, I'm not feeling confident. I have been writing my list and trying to identify my achievements and weaknesses and while this isn't all that confronting, putting it all in writing makes me feel anxious. I am by no means suggesting I've not met goals, or haven't done my job correctly, because I have, but I'm not entirely happy in my position and admitting it to my employers is going to be a little difficult. Once you acknowledge these things, they don't tend to go away.

That aside, I am having a low day all round and it feels like there is no balance in my world. My head can play games with me at times and I try to stay conscious of it all so I can control my reactions to things. I don't always win.

One little joy today, the present my boy got me turned up today (from Strawberry.net) - a 100ml refillable bottle of Angel (my favourite perfume) with a card that said "for my angel". He said he was feeling cheesy the day he bought it. I will take all I can get ;-). I've also signed up to give blood sometime soon. I keep meaning to do it, but now I'm on the register.

Food wise, I stuck to the plan today, and I'm feeling a bit reluctant to give up the Light n Easy food given that it has really helped get me back in the weight-loss zone. I have to cancel it tomorrow, but might pick it up again when my boy goes interstate for a few weeks.

I walked to the station and back today, I've found my mp3 player again so have some music to walk along to. I'm planning to go to the gym tomorrow morning and work off a little of this anxiety before I face the music tomorrow.

In other news, here is a photo of the boy and I at a wedding I was recently bridesmaid at. I adore the dress, we had them made. I felt so confident wearing it and I'm hoping we have a ball or something to go to sometime soon so I can wear it again (the boobies are built-ins!)

I forgot to eat lunch... !!

That has NEVER happened before. I was shocked, my work mates were shocked. I took an early lunch break today (11:45) as I had to go and sign the paperwork with my accountant. I intended to come back and heat up my soup. Instead I came back to the office, took a phone call and then kept on working. I realised I was feeling like a cup of tea, but it was only 2pm and a little early then it hit me - I was hungry 'cause I hadn't eaten. Wow.

I'm not sure if this means my body has finally adjusted to the 1200 calorie limit, or maybe my head is starting to toe the line (it's only taken 27 years...).

All in all, I had a reasonable day today. I didn't sleep well last night, and so didn't manage to make it to the gym early as planned, but I did walk 25mins to the train station, and went to the gym after work instead. It was another f#@k'n hard spin class, but the woman was motivating and I made it through. I was starving by the time I got home, and treated myself to a middy of beer and a tiny slice of my birthday slice as well as my Light n Lazy box. All in all I am tired but feel ok.

We were supposed to go to dinner at mums tomorrow night but she is not well and neither the boy or I really want to catch what she's got. I've postponed till she's better. Our weekend will still be pretty full, house looking tomorrow, 2nd birthday brekky sunday morning and a bbq on sunday night. 2 days a week is seriously not enough time to squeeze life into.

Friday tomorrow, I have no plans but that's pretty normal these days. I'm looking forward to a sleep in and a long walk on saturday. Maybe even a blade.

Happy weekend.

Light n Easy week 3

I'm thinking a better name might have been Light n Lazy... the controlled food parcels are working really well for me right now, but I feel really slack not making food, and although my boy and I rarely eat at the same time during the week, he's not coping with the cooking for himself every night. I am giving it one last week – next weeks order will be my last *sigh*. That being said, I'm making it a 7-dayer instead of the 5 day plan. I'm also planning to keep a set of the day 1/2/3 lunch bags (they come in little packages) and try and be organised at the beginning of the week. Calorie King can count my calories for me. The esky won't arrive on the door step :-( but I will have more options. I will seriously miss the dinners though!

Now the big question - have I lost weight... well, 1200 grams over 2 weeks, so the answer is yes, but it hasn't been as dramatic as I might have liked. My body has responded to the extra exercise, which I am enjoying, but I have a fair way to go before I am back down to 66, let alone 63. A weekend of birthday delights (lots of food and alcohol) didn't help!

On another subject, I am older - 27 (birthday on Sunday), and it was weird not being fussed over. I didn't even get a present until the girls at work gave me some Crabtree & Evelyn products. Apparently everything is 'in the mail'... I can't wait to have a family of my own so that birthdays are special again. The boy took me to brekky 'cause I asked him to, and I had a beer with a mate, but it's not quite the same as being immersed in that frenzy I was used to as a kid. I guess that I'm supposed to get used to it, but I'm not there yet! (or am I just being a brat?)

I treated myself in the end, bought some clothes, had a hair cut and a brow wax and felt a lot better!

Went to the gym this morning, was running late and only managed to fit in 35mins worth, but it's better than nothing. The gym is a bit of an effort right now as I have to carry bulkier clothes (boots, coats, layers etc) due to the cold weather. The hair dryers in the gym are all reaching their expiry date and so there is always a queue to use them.

On a positive note, I think the communal change rooms are having a positive effect on my body image. I'm by no means perfect, but it seems most people aren't. Even the skinny chicks have their odd or wobbly bits, I don't feel self conscious about changing anymore. (Which is really great since it's impossible to bring clothes into the shower cubicles and actually keep them dry!).

I have chores to do tonight, so leaving this here.

Weight loss slowing down...

I've done a lot of this 'losing weight' thing now, and am pretty in touch with my body. I can usually predict a weigh-in result based on how I'm feeling physically. Which is why I can't work out why I've put weight on so far this week. It's driving me nuts. I have been exercising madly, and eating less that 1400 calories a day as per the light and easy plan, yet my weight isn't reflecting the dramatic changes I've been making.

Now I know I shouldn't be weighing myself daily (official weigh in on Sunday) but it's been a bit of a routine, and I like to know how my body fluctuates. I look slimmer, my clothes are a little looser, but my weight hasn't changed. It's very odd. Usually by week 3 in a new program, I've lost about 3kg.

As a back up, I've been tracking any extra food on calorie king (which, BTW, is now free). It's a little more controlled than counting points, but I think they exaggerate the exercise calories burned!

Hit the gym this morning and missed the start of my spin class my 5 mins so I worked on the eliptical machine and bike instead. Work was crap and I couldn't wait to leave, however I missed the bus so I went shopping to kill time and bought a skirt to make myself feel better, it fit better today than when I originally tried it on 3 weeks ago.

I have more stuff to do before bed, so signing off here.

Weekly wrap up

I've lost 1 kg, woot! Haven't seen anything less than 69 for a good 3 or 4 months now, so a 68.9 is great – I'm pretty stoked. I'm weighing in on Sundays for the time being – it may help strengthen my resolve not to go nuts on the weekend.

I'm annoyed that I didn't make it to the pump class on Friday – this would surely have helped boost my metabolism over the weekend, but sometimes these things can't be helped. In this case, my work kept me back (whoever decided 5pm on a Friday was a good time to announce that an ad was needed for the Australian – 6pm deadline – really needs their head read!).

Although I've only opted for the 5-day food plan (Breakfast, lunch & dinner for 5 out of 7 days), I received next weeks food on Friday, so ate day 1 food on Saturday. I will just count pts one day next week (or do a 5000kj plan). I'm actually enjoying most of the food. I found veges lacking a few days last week, but everything since has been quite good. The dinners are big and yummy, even my boy has been curious about what I'm eating each night. The lamb shanks were great!

I went for a 2 hour walk yesterday, haven't done that since the city to surf last year! It felt OK, but I was starving all day. I ended up adding a few snacks to my food to get me through. I'm also struggling with having so many no-alcohol days. I'm letting my self have a glass or two on Friday and Saturday nights, but no more. Adding to the torture, we went to Dan Murphy's to stock up on our drink-nows. We do this every 3 months or so, and having lots of wine in the house again is going to be a little hard to resist.

In other news, we spent more time looking at apartments. It's exciting and depressing rolled into one. We saw some impressive places yesterday, and some bad ones. All the same, none of them really fit all our criteria. I'm thinking of writing down the list of requirements and circulating it to the real estate offices in the suburbs we are considering. The searches on domain etc just don't give enough information, and you waste a lot of time finding out that places just aren't suitable.

I have a lot of things to get through today, so will leave this here.

Happy weekend!

Yummo dinner

Light n Easy tortilla stack = Yum!

Sadly, this has been the highlight of my day. Dinner. Work is drab so I'm trying to focus on other things. I've been exercising this week, and I'm hoping to get to the gym early tomorrow. I think I'll give the spin class a miss though, and work on the cross trainer and rowing machine.

I had a work function last night and had a few glasses of wine and some nibbles, so skipped dinner as I figure that evens things out.

Righto. Chores lume. I have to start my dreaded tax return. Gulp. I've been putting it off for nearly 12 months, and the deadline is in a week or so. I'm one hellofa procrastinator.

I'm hungry

I'm still getting used to this 1200 calorie limit. It's a bit different to WW's 'cause all your food is counted out for you, and they suggest that only if you are really hungry, should you add extra veggies. I haven't worked out if you are allowed eat more if you exercise more. I hope the overall 'hungry' feeling passes soon!

I added 1/2 a skim hot choc today. You are supposed to include 2 litres of skim milk to your weekly food so I figure that isn't so bad.

I don't like the breakfast oats much (too much cinnamon). I will substitute another brand with the same kjs when they send me those. I'm surprised at the lack of vegetables overall, I expected salad with lunch but there isn't much in the way of fresh veggies at all. Yesterday I chose a pasta for dinner, and realised I'd had no veggies all day. The little bit of tomato and wilted spinach in the past hardly fits the "5 a day" target.

In general the dinners are really the highlight of the plan, they are big and filling and there are like 65 of them to chose from. The brekies are pretty much the same as what I have been eating anyway (OK, minus the peanut butter and honey on toast!). The lunches need more veggies or something. I don't really feel satisfied after them, and am hanging for the 'snack' at 3pm. I had the apple and sultana pancake this afternoon, it was yum!

I'm still trying to add in extra exercise. I did another spin class today, but the chic changed to the old music and I didn't enjoy it as much as the new RPM tracks (they started rotating the new CD last week). I am dead by the end of the class... its hell from 5 mins in... but apparently you can burn up to 800 calories in 45mins if you work hard enough in the class. I don't reckon I'm there yet, but I'll try to do one a week as a cardio session in between walking.

Righto. I'd love to make these entries a little less mundane, but I've been quite depressed lately and that negativity just ain't worth sharing! Hence I'm sticking to the facts as a record of how I'm feeling about the diet and exercise...

Been a while...

Decided to come back for a while. I need an outlet!
Weight has gone back on so I've signed up to Light'n'Easy meal deliveries for 4 weeks to get on top of the immediate problem, and have uped the exercise to help it along.

Day1 and I'm feeling tired and hungry but know this feeling will pass over a few days. I have been doing a couple of spin classes at the gym to mix things up a bit and am attempting exercise 5/6 days a week to move this backside quicksmart.

Proper post soon (spent my entire blogging time tonight just trying to sign back into my old account!)