Make it Count!

Here's a new one for you ladies (and gentlemen) - if you can't "Do it Anyway" then for any activity that you can do, "Make it Count!". Walk faster, everywhere, and if you get somewhere early, walk around the block to kill the minutes till you are supposed to arrive.

This has been the little thought at the back of my head for the last few months. I've found it really difficult to fit in proper exercise, proper eating habits and proper sleep. So I've been compensating by powerwalking to the station, running up the stairs and trying to 'beat people' everywhere. This includes picking a person at the beginning of the QVB, who looks like they are in a hurry to get to the station, and then making sure I race them to the gates. Not the most leisurely way to go through the QVB, especially for the people I displace on the way through, but if I 'win' I feel like I've achieved something!

It's interesting to come back and read a few blogs after being away for a while. I've missed being in the loop, but I know the network is always there, to 'feed' off - to absorb the good advice and celebrate with people.

My weight has been up and down for a bout 3 months now. Up to 69 when I have my period and then down to about 66 a week after. It sits there for about 4 days then starts going up again. It's a nasty loop. When the weight it up, I feel depressed and unattractive/unconfident, and then when it starts to slide down I get a glimpse of hope that I am still in control, and then it goes up again... I can't win.

I've been starting to try and settle on the knowledge that I may always been at the heavy end of my healthy BMI. I'm in two minds - I can focus on the achievement that I have lost 30kgs (34 at best) and that I haven't gained it ALL back on, or I can feel failure because I am unable to fully control my weight at the "happy Cath" level.

Here's something else I've been pondering:

I don't know about you guys but I've realised that I am ALWAYS making a choice when I put food into my mouth. I know exactly what the result will be, and I can't seem to turn the switch off, If I eat something, I have already decided if it is good or bad, if it is high kjoules, if it will effect my weight. The decision isn't necessarily wise, but it's a decision regardless. I think about food everything single day, every meal and every snack is my choice, good or bad. I can't remember if I used to have this food 'conscience' before I started this journey. I can't necessarily control the options, but I control the decision.

I'm babbling but I did have a point - there are a few changes that I made during my journey that make a difference to how I eat now: I choose skim milk, I choose not to have sugar in my coffee, I choose diet softdrink, I choose no fat on meat, I choose low fat yoghurt, I choose rice crackers over chips. I choose to have no butter or margarine. All of these choices are now part of my everyday diet, they are no longer sacrifices that I make. I wonder if the maintenance of at least the majority of my weightloss is partially due to these permanent choices I now make?

Have a great week kiddies, and remember, if only for today, make it count!