Being a nag.
I've just finished reading M's blog and I'm utterly astonished at how much energy she has, and how much effort goes in to caring for a family! Don't get me wrong, I didn't think it was easy, but I have been seriously doubting lately if I would have enough stamina to put myself last in the pecking order whilst doing all of the work. I'm definitely not housewife material.
Living with CB has seen me turn into a bit of a nag. I think we have both assumed our own comfort zones living as a couple, but in his world it seems the housework gets done my little elves that turned up when I moved in. I, on the other hand, am getting damn frustrated with the lack of voluntary housework on his part. So rather than doing it all myself. I ask him to help, once, twice... and then I get so fed up that I do it myself 'cause I'm sick of not having a house presentable when people want to drop in.
It's all been a bit compounded this week by the fact that his little brother is in town and has not lifted a helping hand since he got here, including not paying for food etc. So now I'm running around after 2 of them! Aghhhh!
Sorry to bitch and moan, but I'm getting a bit frustrated. I absolutely refuse to do it all myself since we are still both financially independent of each other, and there is no reason why he shouldn't be pulling his weight. Aghh. So there it is. I am a nag. And I'm going to continue to be until he gets the point. Unless anyone else has any ideas?
I went for a walk this morning, got up early, and am feeling less down, but more annoyed than yesterday. I have just found out that CB is away Wednesday night which means entertaining his brother another night, but all I want is some space to myself to tidy my lounge and office.
I think i better sign off here before I bring you all down.
posted by Cath @ Tuesday, June 28, 2005
3 comments
3 Comments:
You are not a nag. You have every right to ask for help. I have this same frustration every day. I still don't understand how anyone, let alone DH, is quite comfortable stepping over piles of things to get to bed, but complains if he trips when woken up by a DS. AND if he needs socks and undies that happen to be in the dryer, he'll just get out what he wants and leave the rest for the elves to fold and put away. *sigh* Lucky he is good at taking the bins out. LOL.
It does sound like it is very unfair that the brother isn't at least being more helpful. Or helping to pay. It's little inconsiderate things like this that can make us really edgy, frustrated and resentful. At least you understand it for what it is.
Hope you have a happier day today :)
Oh you're kidding! I got called a NAG for the first time last night and I went to bed so mad and in shock! We are not nags and we are not their mothers either. A bit of help once in a while would be real nice hey. Dan's usually good but lately, it's all a bit too messy. And we (you and me) both work from home too so we need a clean space.
With motherhood, I've seen the most unlikeliest people become the greatest mothers. My friend just had a baby and she was a chain smoking, beer swilling pirate and as soon as she got pregnant, wow. She's doing great! I think you would be great too and you sound like you have a great relationship with your own mother which would be a great thing to have for support.
I hope you get some *you* time and that CBs brother doesn't bug you too much. Big {{{HUGS}}}.
Oh man my boyfriend, altho i love him dearly, is the same. His mum died when he was young and his dad has had a maid ever since. The most cleaning he has ever done is wash up occasionally. He has never lived out of home so its been a bit of a shock since we have moved in together. I have to nag him CONSTANTLY to help me around the house... It pisses me off to no end because I'm not his mum and hes a grown man, so SURELY he can see he needs to help around the house to help keep it tidy????? A few times I threatened him with getting a maid (that we both pay for, and since my boy is such a tight ass, that idea was a no go) or making a roster... Hes getting better now after 12 months of nagging but its still so frustrating!
I hope your boy & his bro dont bring you down too much Cath, but i sure do know what you are going through!!
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